How To Think, To Get What You Want

By Laua Leigh Clarke on June 28, 2013

You’ve probably experienced this at least one time in your life already.

You meet someone who is incredibly successful and then discover they are the same age as you… (or younger!)

Or you bump into an old school friend and they have everything you’ve ever wanted. Or maybe you’ve been reading something in the media and learn about ANOTHER successful entrepreneur hitting the jackpot with an idea you’ve kicked around in the past – and you wish that it could have been you.

And it’s not like you’re short of ideas.

It’s not like you’re not driven and inspired.

It also not as if you don’t work hard, either.

So what is it?

What is it that makes the difference between those people who thrive and ALWAYS seem to get what they want, and those who struggle forever, never quite making the big time?

Well the answer is pretty straight forward really. But don’t be fooled by its simplicity. This is what takes us out of the game…

The truth about creating what you want in your world all comes down to your thoughts.

 

Successful People Think Only About What They Want

Think about it: when you have something important coming up where you want everything to go perfectly, you’ve probably also had the tendency to go through all the things that could possibly go wrong in your head. And without realising it, this very act isn’t giving you scope for a contingency plan, as you may assume… It’s actually increasing the chances of it all going wrong.

And if you do have a tendency to do this on some level – you are not alone.

Often in introductory coaching sessions I ask people what they want, and often they’ll spend a lot of time and energy telling me what they *don’t* want.

We all spend a huge amount of time, thinking about what could go wrong, pushing against it to try to will it not to happen, and fighting the outcomes that we don’t want…

And sure, we don’t want to have bad stuff happen to us, so it’s good to take reasonable precautions. But always thinking the thoughts of what we don’t want, actually pulls them into our experience.

Let me say that again… because this is important:

Thinking about what we don’t want actually makes it more likely to happen! ReTweet This

 

And then there are your subconscious thoughts too, i.e. all the thoughts that you’re not looking at! These also count towards what is created in reality.

Most of the time what we’re creating, we’re not doing it consciously… so whatever is in our subconscious is what shows up in our world… namely our fears and frustrations. Have you ever noticed how once one bad thing happens, and you dwell on those negative thoughts, something else bad happens?

And if you have a mixture of thoughts, what you end up creating is a hotch-potch of the sum total of them.

But it’s not your fault.

 

We’re Not In Control Of Our Thinking

The root cause of the problem is that most of us, most of the time, are not in control of our own thinking. We are at the mercy of programmes (the thinking habits) we’ve been running since childhood… And what is worse, we’re completely unaware of them.

Sure, maybe we’re aware on some intellectual level that we create and re-create the same situations again and again. If we have problems with our work colleagues, then moving jobs probably isn’t going to solve the problem, because we’ll still take all our programmes about victimization with us…

Maybe you’ve seen this with your relationships too?

People tend to date the same person again and again, only each time it’s a difference face with a different name. At the very least you may have noticed it with someone close to you, if not yourself.

And these programmes also keep us believing we are small.

They keep us thinking that we are at the mercy of our own internal baggage.

We believe that because we are the way we are we can’t change our internal wiring. Or any change we do eventually manage to make has to be slow and hard work.

We think thoughts habitually that keep us doubting. In fact, most of us are on a loop about what we think is possible – we have an idea of something we want to do, but we then have a number of reasons why we can’t do it, and then each time we think the thought about the thing we’d like to do, we practice the reasons why we can’t again and again, until we have boxed ourselves in with our own limiting ideas.

But there is a way out of this.

There is a way of taking control of your thinking so that you can unpick these limitations and live a bigger life.

 

The Hard Pill: You Are Creating All The Time

You mind is a creative machine – whatever thought you think, at some point will show up in your material world… unless you undo the thought or immediately think the opposite.

And this is a scary concept what with all the myriad of thoughts that slosh around our heads every second of every single day! To take on board that they are having a direct effect on our live in a tangible way is really quite a bitter pill to swallow at first.

But the only way we are going to be able to rock out this success that we lust after is if we are able to take complete and total responsibility for everything we are creating in our world – the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you like what you’re creating, then great. Keep thinking those thoughts that are creating it.

But if there are things you would rather have differently, think only the thoughts of what you want to have, and take complete responsibility for having made it like that in the first place.

Now, sometimes this cause and effect relationship between our thoughts and our experience is hard to see…

It takes a smart, aware individual to be open to the possibility… and if this is the first time you’re reading something like this, you’ll probably have to read it many more times in other places to truly be able to live it and see the Truth in it.

But that’s ok…

All learning at this level is experiential – and it’s ok to take your time to experience this for yourself and prove it to yourself rather than just accept this concept as an intellectual “theory”.

Theory does nothing to change a life.

Theory means nothing until you can apply it in practice.

So let’s talk about how you can actually use these insights to make real change in the degree of success you create…

 

How To Create What You *Actually* Want

…and not what you don’t want.

 

Step 1: You’re On The Hook!

Now that you know this, you will find yourself automatically stepping up and becoming more powerful in what you can produce. You’re now on the hook for everything that happens in your world now…

But this is great news. Because it puts you back in the driving seat.

If you created something (good or bad) you have the control over it to either create it again, or completely un-create it. It’s a good place to be. But you get there by taking responsibility for everything that shows up in your world.

 

Step 2: Get Sensitive To The Mind

Realise that every thought you think is going to manifest if not cancelled out with the opposite thought. So watch out for the thought you dwell on… Drop the ones that don’t serve you.

Dwell on the things you want to create.

 

Step 3: Know That You Are Powerful

This isn’t about wishing, hoping or daydreaming… That is what keeps us stuck.

This is about embracing the fact that what you hold in mind is what you create – so hold it in mind and expect that it will happen.

 

Gold Nugget Activator

Keep quiet – when we have to find words to explain what we want, we end up muddling things up and justifying… and doubting.

Just hold in mind what you want, and forget about convincing anyone else of what you are doing.

 

And If You Succeed?

If you can do this – not only will you master your goals, you will become massively more productive – because you’re not battling against your own thoughts and doubts all the time.

You’ll feel freer, because you’re taking control of your own mind. It isn’t situations that limit us. It is our thinking about our situations which keep us trapped and unable to push ahead.

Imagine that person you think you might be if you didn’t have all the mind chatter and doubts, right now.

That could be you, in actuality, in a surprisingly short space of time.

 

8 Important Reasons Why You Should Be More Independent

By Joel on June 17, 2013

We naturally become more independent as we progress through life. We move away from our parents, and any bonds that once sustained us from our childhood are slowly diminished as we move into “The Real World“. Some people however form a set of new bonds as they move away from home and they never actually grow to be truly independent. There are many reasons why we should be more independent. Independence here refers to all aspects of your life including financial, career, emotional, personal faith and beliefs.

So here are the 8 important reasons why you should be more independent.

 

 

8 Reasons Why You Should Be More Independent

 

1 – Personal independence boosts your confidence

Independent people naturally tend to be a little more confident on handling issues affecting their lives. This is mainly because they are more prepared to take actions and do things without having to wait for support or permission from someone else. Being independent therefore means that you will be more likely to try out new things that you want, rather than what or how you are expected to. This also means that you will have more experience than a less independent individual. This will in time build up more confidence in you with the knowledge that you can do things on your own.

For entrepreneurs, this confidence opens your mind to taking bigger risks and unbeaten paths that eventually returns bigger rewards.

 

2 – Less reliance on others

Less independent individuals tend to rely so much on others. This may be because they do not want to have to make choices for themselves or they feel too shy to go through challenges in their life without somebody by their side. This character makes you appear overly needy. Being a little more independent will be much appreciated by people and they will be willing to come to you for help. Being needed or relied upon is what many crave for; this will add some value on you and make you feel important.

 

3 – Emotional independence reduces stress and promotes happiness

Being emotionally dependent means that you can make the most of your personal decisions and go through challenging life situations without necessarily dragging other people into it. More emotional independence can also mean less suffering and disappointment, since you do not depend on others to meet you emotional needs. It is however good to understand that social support is necessary, but you can still get it without necessarily being emotionally dependent.

 

4 – Financial independence means freedom and a sense of accomplishment

When it comes to personal independence, there is no satisfaction comparable to the ability to pay your own bills. Being able to pay your way through life reduces dependence on your parents, friends, spouse or whichever person you used to lean on. Financial independence means that you control your income and expenditure and you are not answerable to anybody.

The more that you learn to become financially independent, the less stress you may have in your life as you are more in control of your financial outcome.

 

 

5 – Better decision making

Being independent makes decision making an easy task; this is because you have proven to yourself that you are the only person that will be really affected by the decisions you make. On the other hand, being dependent on other people for emotional or financial support makes it difficult to make clear and appropriate decisions; this is because you will always have to stop to think about how the other person will be affected, and how they will react to your decisions. Whereas it is a good idea to consider other people while making decisions, being scared to make choices in fear of upsetting others can greatly hold you back.

 

6 – Personal improvement and creativity

The idea of setting independence as a goal can greatly boost multiple aspects of your life. Emotional independence for example improves your personal relations with friends, family, work mates and other people you interact with. You become more in control of your emotions such as anger, over-excitement, anxiety, mood swings and so on. Having a free and independent mind gives you freedom to explore your skills and talents and will ultimately bring out the best in you.

 

7 – Broader horizons

To be more independent means being prepared and free to meet new people and try new things. This in turn means that you will develop a broader sense of the world and be open to people and new opportunities; which leads to more knowledge and understanding of the world. It is in these deeper horizons that lies opportunities for success and adventure. Less independent individuals are less likely to have such opportunities. This is in fact is what sets successful entrepreneurs apart from the rest.

 

8 – Self-value and self-esteem

Independence can help increase your self-value and self-esteem, more so if becoming independent is one of your goals. The achievement of financial, emotional, social, career and personal independence gives you a sense of accomplishment that eventually changes how you rate yourself and how others view you.

The increased self-worth that comes with this independence is a great booster to your self-esteem and personal success.

 

Below is an amazing quote about being independent by Friedrich Nietzsche. I hope you enjoy his quote as much as I did.

“It is the business of the very few to be independent; it is a privilege of the strong. And whoever attempts it, even with the best right, but without being OBLIGED to do so, proves that he is probably not only strong, but also daring beyond measure. He enters into a labyrinth, he multiplies a thousandfold the dangers which life in itself already brings with it; not the least of which is that no one can see how and where he loses his way, becomes isolated, and is torn piecemeal by some minotaur of conscience. Supposing such a one comes to grief, it is so far from the comprehension of men that they neither feel it, nor sympathize with it. And he cannot any longer go back! He cannot even go back again to the sympathy of men!”